Without looking it up, try and explain what Yoshimitsu is. So what I'm saying, what I'm saying is that adult me eternally regrets child me not giving them the time of day. Would I relish piercing straight through the chests of my fallen opponents in my stilettos like their skin tissue was wrapping paper? Yes. As I result, I do not think it is fair for me to comment on those who did. (You were also, most of the time, me).Īs a young boy with semi-problematic opinions on how effective an angular-breasted assassin in heels would be in a street brawl, I can't say I ever played as either Nina or Anna Williams. If you picked Hwoarang you were a champion. Once you had properly learned how to utilise his full array of kicks you could basically just juggle your opponent in the air by booting them repeatedly.Įven better, once you mastered switching his stance you were practically unbeatable due to his otherworldly combination of range and speed. Or more specifically, he was my boy, a ripped, ginger biker/cowboy/taekwondo prodigy who could basically kick the skin off his opponents' face. Pick someone else you loser or we're not playing. It is small-time, vapid behaviour and I simply will not stand for it. It's like choosing Mario in Smash Bros. It's like being James Bond in a multiplayer game on GoldenEye. Picking Jin is like playing Crash Team Racing as Crash. He is on the fucking box you fucking prick. My god I'd do it again in an instant.Īs much time as I do have for Jin's trousers, the flamiest tracky bottoms in the known universe, picking to fight as him is just evidence of a complete lack of imagination. I have picked Eddy Gordo on many occasions in the past and helicopter-kicked friends to death until they, enraged, threw their controller at my head and do you know something? I'm not proud of it. Whilst picking him doesn't necessarily make you a bad person, it also does, in a way, definitely make you a bad person.

And not even being able to lay a finger on him. There is nothing more frustrating in the entire world than being dance-battered to death by a character that looked like the above, one of those weird paddleboard instructor lads who has lived in a hostel for the last several years of their life, and not being able to stop it. With Gordo's unique capoeira stylings, which were basically impossible to stop if you didn't know what you were doing (and very, very easy to stop if you did, which made it funnier somehow) and mostly involved him standing on his hands and spin-kicking you in the head ad infinitum, you could properly get under somebody's skin. The slightly longer answer: Eddy Gordo a.k.a The Drip King was the single Tekken character with the greatest capacity for shithousery by abusing the same moves over and over and over again and he was, therefore, also the best Tekken character. Wario is officially the best character to use in Mario Kart READ MORE

Taken 3 games